How To Define And Observe Bullying

Play your part in the fight to stop bullying!

We Cannot Let Bullying Continue Unchecked!

What is the most apt bullying definition and how do we stop bullying?

A quick Google search brings up the following definitions of bullying:

“Bullying is a form of abuse. It comprises repeated acts over time that involves a real or perceived imbalance of power with the more powerful individual or group abusing those who are less powerful.[2] The power imbalance may be social power and/or physical power. The victim of bullying is sometimes referred to as a target.”
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bullying

“Includes behaviors and actions that are verbal, physical and/or anti-social, such as exclusion, gossip and non-verbal body language.”
www.oklahomaparentscenter.org/Dictionary.html

“Deliberate action or behaviour directed towards another person which may take many forms and can often occur over a long period of time.”
www.coachescolleague.com/glossary/12/letterb

To this list I would like to add my own version:
“Any sort of physical or mental abuse that involves a more powerful person to exert this power over a weaker, more vulnerable person. It can be pure physical abuse or can take on more sinister mental forms such as gossip and slander, cyberbullying through cell phones, online activities, and social networking sites.”

There are of course other definitions but for the most part, these are the most clear cut and easily distinguishable definitions of bullying.

Why do we need to stop bullying now more than ever?

So, as you can plainly see above, bullying can be quite easy to define and most of the time is easily observed and noticed especially if you have good communication with, and great parental awareness of, your child.

Unfortunately however in trying to stop bullying, there are some signs that your child is being bullied that are not so obvious. These are also the most dangerous cases as without support and help, bullying can easily consume the bullying victim.

I will try and break down a few of these so you can watch out for them and hopefully do something about it before it gets out of hand.

Signs that you need look out for so you can stop bullying of your children…

First things first, do not disregard moodiness, needs of isolation and privacy, mood swings and mild depression simply as “teenage angst” or “just a stage.” Bullied teenagers and children also for that matter can show all these signs as well as seeming withdrawn. Bullying cripples self esteem and in many cases, the victim can feel a real sense of helplessness. Children in this stage often shy away from interaction and prefer to shield themselves away from anyone who might see them and realize they are upset and hurting.

Secondly, are you paying attention to what happens to your child when their phone rings or they receive a message? Are they scared or not interested in answering the phone? Do they take the call in public or hide away? What changes in mood were there before and after the call / message? All these questions can be answered under teenagers wanting their privacy however sometimes there is a hidden agenda. If it does not feel right then please talk to your child and make sure it is just privacy concerns and nothing more sinister. Don’t let the privacy issue cloud your judgement – sometimes you need to just step in and stop bullying outright!

Thirdly, what about computer time? Are they happy to use the computer or laptop in public view or do they bury themselves away in their room? After a session are they happy and normal or do they look sad, upset or distressed? Do you notice upsetting or negative reactions to some messages or FaceBook sessions for example? These are real danger signals in the fight to stop bullying!

Fourthly, is there a real reluctance to talk about what is going on at school or social situations? Does your child prefer to stay at home rather than go out and mix with friends? Are you noticing any massive mood swings, personality changes and even major appearance changes over relatively short periods of time?

These, plus many more, are some of the hidden symptoms of bullying. Sometimes it is easy to disregard them as something else and all a part of the teenage years and growing up. As a parent however, we must do our absolute utmost to gage whether or not these behaviors are just a natural part of those “delightful” adolescent years or something more sinister?

The key to stop bullying is communication and awareness. Support and love your children, be aware of what they are going through and above all else, work as hard as you can to establish great communication channels between you and your children. The more they feel they can talk to you about their problems, the more success you will have in not only dealing with bullies but also in all facets of your kids lives!